The Daily Tronicle

Hogs, Harleys, and Bike Season!

2009-03-15T19:34:00.000-07:00

Bike Season is comig soon, and Mom and Dad thought it only appropriate to show me the ropesat our local Harley dealership. Heidi, the shop manager said I could sit and play on whatever I wanted cause I was sooooooooo handsome. Don't I know it?!?!?

I am a damned good lookin' munkeh. This bike was real nice, but Ma said we had to leave it and I could ride Dad's with supervision. We couldn't afford one for me, I don't even have a licensce! I'll work on that. Mom says I don't even have to ride "bitch" whatever that means. She says she does because she doesn't wanna drive. Dad said I could ride on the handle bars. But I don't even have a helmut. Mom calls those brain buckets. I even got to sit in a sidecar. Ma would love one of those then we could go every where together and Ma could knit while Dad drove. Dad killed that idea right away. Harley guys don't bring monkeys and knitting. (Whatever THAT means). While we were out, Mom and I bought Noah a present, I'll have to make him a card and send it to him.

Expectin' Snow...

2009-03-01T17:17:00.000-08:00

I got in to SOME monkey Biz baby, lemme telllll you.(Hiccupps) It seems that in the northeast region of our country, people just wait out the precipitation known as :SNOW. Well, not this MunKey! I found this hear rite nice guitar, it's my DADDY'S. It's gold tone matches my toof, and it plays well. I do not know of any other MunKey's that are afforded to live so well. Sho'nuff.

We had a package the other day that was a big it with the squalwkers in da house.

I never knew this was how nuts was retrieved! It was heavy too, 10 pounds. I didn't know that nuts were weighed. My, how you learn something new all the time. My, my. Ma sez, "this is important to some, but not to others, size and weight aren't everything " That's what she tell me. I will reflect on this, as I do not know if I have nuts or how much they weigh. I'll Google it when Ma isn't lookin' or ask Dad when Ma isn't around.

Cooped up in the house, the TV had on Lord of the Rings. It looked very gang related to me, I suspect Ma doesn't know and finds it entertainin'. I'll tell her, after the next snack break.

I learned a new game! Seven card Stud. I dunno nuthing about it, except we was gigglin and talking funny, I sat on the Triscuit box and the next thing you know...

I was flat out mystified. I'll go nap off my "mystery" while Ma and Dad watch TV. I guess I should have slowed my role, but, it was official munKey business!

Pimpin' Ain't Easy

2009-02-25T16:47:00.000-08:00

This is me, Tron. I am huggin' on my Mom. I have a "birth mom" I am told, but she sent me away, and now I am here with Ma. She is so phat! This is the day we first met, se came home from the joint early, just to see me. My parents are young, and I have 7 siblings, all "exotic" parrots. In my line of work "exotic" usually costs more, that's what I tell people. Apparently its the same with birds. Man, are they loud! They are all in lil' jails til Ma dukes or Dad gets home, then it's like a riot! Straight out of Attica! I don't have a lil' jail, cause I don't chew on wood, it might hurt my gold toof. These kids are whack. They get all good food, they don't have to clean their cells, AND the can be unemployed and no one complains about it. How about them digs?

Dad works with music, and Ma cuts hair. She likes to knit a lot. They tried to teach me that, but I prefer my threadz to her homestyle. Sorry Ma, but it's true. I have been guarding Annie's socks. Ma sez this is a big deal, because Annie is a VIP around here, and Ma promised she'd give the socks back. Being that I am a supposed sock munkeh, I get guard duty. Things get lost in our house pretty easy if it isn't a bird, a munkeh, yarn, or a guitar.